…not the destination.

Sounds cliche, I know.

But it’s true.

Working with people I watch them move from believing their happiness is predicated on achieving some goal, to understanding that there is so much more available to them along the way.

A client recently reached a goal she had been struggling with for a very long time.  A weight goal. It was a very exciting moment for her. She emailed me right away to share her accomplishment.

After congratulating her, I asked her to make a list of everything that was different about her life now.  Now that she had “arrived”. Now that the scale displayed this new number.

She has graciously allowed me to share her list:


1)  I used to put my family first and feel guilty if I didn’t.  Now I give myself equal time with no guilt.  It’s better for me and for them.

2) I get up early in the morning–5:00-5:30 because I want to enjoy the peace of the morning.

3) the laundry piles are high and I don’t care.

4) Physically– 208 ( ouch ) to 149 !!  Have lost about 43 inches–the height of my 5 year old.

5) Much stronger and proud of it — I like my “lucky charm arms ” !!

6) More confident because of what I have accomplished.

7) more outgoing–challenge myself to new things.

8) much more energy.  Ran 6.5 miles with my 12 year old on Sunday !  ( I think he was surprised to know that I could do something that he could barely do)

9) Happier with a much more positive outlook on life.

10)  Cry more, but I used to have a terrible temper– I guess that is an improvement.

11)  Try really hard not to yell ( thanks Louise) !!

12)  At least 2-3 people come up to me every week and tell me that I have inspired them! me?

13)  More social– more to do.

14)  Kids think I am amazing ( that is hard to beat ).

15)  Exercise 6 sometimes 7 days a week–despite my bad moods.  ( There is always hope).

16)  My husband is much happier ( no details).

17)  My parents are “proud of my accomplishments” ( too bad it took losing weight to make them proud, but oh well).

18)  Went to Europe on our honeymoon–flew into Milan,Italy only to find out that they had lost out luggage.  We walked around the garment district and I bought a dress there.  I put it on the other day for the first time since the honeymoon!!

19)  I don’t drink as much wine.  It is a treat for Friday or Saturday night ( sometimes both).

20)  I told the kids that I was going to learn how to rap this summer.  Happy rap !!

21)  Kids actually want healthy food.

22)  A couple of months ago when the stomach bug went thru our house I was worried about getting it because I wouldn’t be able to get to the gym.  Last year I would have welcomed a stomach bug so that I could lose a few pounds.

23)  Bought a kayak and can’t wait to use it with the kids.

24)  Meals are healthier.  If it is something that the kids want and I don’t then I make myself something else.

25)  No ice cream at night. Usually if I crave something sweet  I will try to make a decaf coffee.

26)  My whole diet has changed, but if there is something that I really want to eat then I have it –guilt free.

27)  I am much more aware of what my body needs and what it doesn’t need.

28)  A better example to everyone.

29)  I feel great !!  ( 98% of the time).

30)  Looking forward to accomplishing the next step !!  Which is ??


A life full of joy, fun, activity, love, connection, self respect, and confidence.

This didn’t happen because she reached her goal.

This isn’t a byproduct of being 150 pounds.

She crafted a new way of living and getting to 150 pounds is the byproduct of the life she created for herself.

Goals are nice, but the good stuff in life happens along the way.